Night.

The night is silent, no noise, no everything.

Listening to ma favourite songs, it smooth-en my mood. Love like this. :')

Guess what? Finally, I had my decision. Is it the reason why I feel so much better after I decided? Maybe.

The first time, I type this long to him. I wanted to tell everything, but I couldn't.

Words ain't enough to express my feelings. It's more than that, seriously.

Hey boy, seriously I have so much to tell you. I know you're having your hard time right now. Family, studies, and decisions have to be made and it's really hard for you. Honestly I'm stalking you everyday, wanted to know where have you been and what'cha doing. I miss you, I miss us.  Missing how we used to call each other babe everyday. Not going to give you pressure cuz I know it's enough. Just wish that you're fine and things will go easier after all these. Even though I don't know what's going on, why you ignored me after you told me that you want a longer relationship with me, well, I believe in you, you just need time. I'll wait, wait until the day you back to me. Just to let you know I'm always here when you need someone. Iloveyou. 

Been thinking, how's our life going to be after you go to kampar to study? maybe you'll have new gf there? I don't want to think what will happen after that, I'm afraid.

Anyway, this is ain't a issue for now. Think wisely what you going to choose for your future kay? 3 years to face it, not a long time, but not a short period as well. Once you've decided, you'll have to be brave to face it. Not only for your parents, for yourself too. It's your time, your future not theirs. Face it, don't escape anymore. You're a man, my man.  Support you no matter how.

I'm serious, this time. I love him.

Not sure I received how many advises and scolds, they asked me to let go.

I just can't, CAN'T.

Like I said, I'll wait. That's it.

I don't care how others look at me nor think of me, I just don't care.

So much to tell you, and most of all goodbye, but I know that you can't hear me any more.