The answer.

Hello December !

Time does fly, I even didn't realize that today already come to 1st of December.

It seems like I'm always spending my time with those unnecessary thingy.

I don't know what I've done within November. My mind can't think any single thing that I've done right.

The feeling is scary. It's just like I'm so useless.

I hate that, but what to do ?

I got no more energy, tiring, very tiring.

Uni life ain't easy.

Almost everyday I'm dying with assignments.

Thinking Skill, Food & Beverage , Malaysian Studies , Accounting and so on.

I'm not a superwoman, I can't take it.

I knew, all these are just some obstacles in life.

I must go through it, it's a must. For mum, dad, or even for myself.

Crapping like I don't know what I am talking about.

I lost my way, my direction. Start doubting, wondering what to do next.

Nostalgic ? Noooo. We must look forward isn't it ?

Yes, we must.

Oh well, as I said in the previous post, I'm done with the 9th.

But still, I can feel the pressure from him.

The feeling is just so tiring and I really don't want to take it anymore.

Know what ? I always feel that I'm under his control.

I don't know. Maybe yes, maybe no.

I need some time to do my stuff, to settle my assignments, to hang out with my friends, to club for relax, to study for exam, to get ready for assessment or whatsoever.

But you know, he's like keep wanna stick together with me and want me to spend all my time with him.

I can't, I just can't, that's why I feel I'm wasting time, that's why my time ain't enough.

Even when I'm doing discussion in campus, he still wants to come just for sitting beside.

I don't know why.

That's our main problem I think. He doesn't understand me well.

I need someone who can understand me.

Yeah, we still contacting, like normal.

But the feeling is gone. No more love, just friendship.

I want to treat him as a friend, the one who I most appreciate.

I'm a failure. After failed in 9 times of relationship, I just realize that I'm a failure.

Yes, I'm a weirdo, but I don't care cause that's me.

Actually, there's someone that I crushed on now. *OPPPS! Let's call him Mr.M.*

M stands for mystery. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

But still, I'm controlling myself for not falling for him.

No way.

'I seriously scare that I will fall in love with you.'LOL.

'So ? Love then love laa. Why so scare ?'

'Cause I hate you.'LOL.

'I hate you too.'

That day when I broke up, thanks him for staying with me whole night.

If not, I think I'm going to mentally breakdown. :(

I don't know, he's just so sweet everytime when he's with me.

We used to chat all the secrets together. Laugh and hit each other like we're kids.

I hate him for treating me so good.

I hate him for asking me not to leave him.

I hate him for telling me he loves me cause I am who I am.

I hate him for hugging me so tight when I cry.

I hate him for listening to me even though I keep scolding bad words to him.

I hate him for being so sweet to me.

Sorry William Ang, I'm the one who did wrong for this time.

I rather you hate me than you keep telling me that you love me.

Sorry.