What can I do?

I always hate seeing people complain about stuffs, therefore I will never let myself being part of the complainers.

Life is wonderful, I mean we should always be thankful of what we have, but not complain about stuffs we don't have, isn't it?

In fact, people demand. This is the reason why people complain.

Negative emotions like to stick with me recently. 

Mood swings easily, over thinking are what I am doing all the time.

I don't know why, I just can't explain. It sucks.

Tear easily when listen to songs, when hug my pillow, even when chat with the boyfie.

Anything can affects me easily. Seriously hate this, so not me.

Trying hard to be a busy person by started doing assignments, cleaning my room, tidying my cupboard and stuffs that can fill up my time. But still, negative emotions won my mind.

I wonder, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Wanted to talk to people around me, but there's none.

Wanted to talk to my friends, but timezone doesn't allowed me to.

And lastly, the person I wanted to talk to the most, my boy, but I feel disappointed to talk to him.

The feeling is so helpless, what else I can do?

I miss ah leong, I miss talking to him. He is the one who knows me so well even I don't voice out he can tells out what my mind is thinking.

This fella is like living in my stomach, know everything of me so well. :(

He even remember my period date although I don't ask him to remember, instead of my boy.

Human compare. I hate myself so fucking much.

Most of the time I just wanted to share my thoughts, my ideas, my life in UK, everything of mine with him, but he just take it lightly or ignore me.

It makes me feeling scare to share stuffs with him, yes I have this feeling.

Been wondering before tell him something, and sometimes I just like, urghhh whatever.

This shouldn't happen in a relationship isn't it?

He is my motivation, he is my supporter, he is my listener, he is my partner, he is my boyfriend, he is my best friend, he is my everything.

But why I don't feel any supports from him anymore?

All these even affects my appetite. I can only eat a meal in 24 hours.

I find food is disgusting and I hate them all.

No ideas.