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It has been 183 days that I stay in UK.

I do counts, I have a thing about days of doing something.

It started since young, without reasons.

I read blogs when I am bored, or when I need inspirations.

I love reading, I go through every single word, cuz I think words are beautiful.

Read a post just now and it makes me feeling a lil down - about long distance relationships.

1 year and 8 months relationship.

1 year of being together, 8 months of being apart.

We didn't survive our long distance relationship.

We broke it off 2 months ago.

He found someone new, I'm stuck with moving on.

#You feel like shit when you know that he or she no longer misses you.

Love is getting fragile, it changes too fast, how scary.

I don't know how I handle my long distance relationship, if you asked me, I will answer you with only one word - TRUST.

You have to trust your partner.

Yes, you might get hurt if you trust, but when it is the only thing you can do, you've no choice.

Frankly, I really hate texting all the time with him.

Especially when he is the emotion-less type, he seldom laugh, seldom smile, seldom shows his emotion.

His replies are mostly covering one word, a dot, or neither an emoticon.

I get tired of thinking topic to text with him.

Most of the time I just do my stuffs and reply him when I think of something to tell.

We seldom skype. Skype is one of the most common thing of LDR couples.

But strangely, we don't usually do it.

Even if we do, we less talk. I don't know why.

I love to skype, so much, it's the most convinient way to feel closest to the one who is miles away from me.

I used to do it with my friends, most of my friends.

We talk shits, update life, gossips, speak about problems, discuss about games, play flappy bird together, listen to favourite songs and rap together etc etc.

But I don't do my favourite stuffs with my boyfriend. How strange.

Every time when I think of this, I feel sad.

No more morning greets, and it's okay for me.

Time will heal, I believe.

Studying in le Royaume-Uni.

Good evening readers.

Not too sure if I still have readers but if you are reading this, THANK YOU for not giving up on me!!! :')))

It's 10.25pm now in UK where Malaysia is already 6 in the morning.

I miss home, wouldn't feel bored repeating this phrase, seriously.

As title mentioned, today's post is all about my studies in UK.

I am progressing my bachelor's degree semester 2 now. One word to describe, TOUGH.

Yeah, I had the thought of giving up, but then I decided not to when I thought about my parents.

It was a serious downhill I can say, when no one understands your feelings, and they ain't putting themselves into my shoes. The most F moment. :'(

It's okay.

Honestly, I learnt alot. Learnt how to be strong when there's no people helps you.

I always tell myself that it's okay if you don't give a damn on me, cuz everyone is selfish, it's a fact.

Especially when you're studying abroad where people around you don't have the obligation to care on you,

you have to be strong or you die.

I can't count how many teary nights I've been through.

I can't count how much hair I've lost due to overstress.

I can't count how much thoughts I actually keep it all to myself.

The world is cruel.

I always jealous on my friends around me.

They always have someone who always solve problems for them.

They need no to work harder because money is always in their pockets.

我只能说，是命运。

Currently I am planning for a function which more or less similar to the one I did in taylors a year ago.

I am the co-ordinator of my group which means the function is all under my control.

I have to deal with the entertainers in order to get them to sign on a contract that basically written by me. -.-

I have to make sure my teammates are actually doing their roles.

I have to speak alot ENGLISH which isn't my mother language and most of the ang moh couldn't understand me but still, I need to speak to them until they get me.  #superstress

I have to do alot of paper works as there will be a planning report need to be submitted 2 weeks later.

I need to prove what I have done each week and present to the lecturers and tell them how far my team has progressed.

When all these strike on you, frankly I don't have the power to manage. 

Even though the lecturers always giving me positive comments, but still, I don't know.

I left only 1 week for my tickets to sell, to get 70 covers to attend to my function. #fuckthisshitiaintgonnamakeitwtf

Plus, I am taking French class now.

It is so hard for me to learn another language when I can't even use my english properly.

Do you get what I mean?

It is not easy to pursue your studies away from your hometown.

我已经不知道我可以做些什么了。