夜晚。

夜晚显得特别宁静，宁静的时候会想很多。
来英国快半年了，说还不习惯，也不是；说习惯了，也不算是。很矛盾吧？

这学期过得很压力。脱发的问题更显得严重，严重到我真的害怕起来。
很多事情都得突破自己的范围去完成，很多事情得自己亲历亲为去做，
一个人得分身做很多个岗位，我真的很累。
现在真的会在收到email的那分钟害怕起来，害怕的是会因为我错误的决定给把事情砸了。
我不知道可以向谁倾诉。
外人不会了解，都只会愚昧地说，这就是学生的责任啊，放多一点心机啦，花多一点时间之类的话。
你们不懂。

已经连续四天是被电话声给吵醒，因为大家都在为事情在做准备。
根本没办法睡个好觉。
好累，好累。

好久都没跟妈妈视讯了，我好想家。

哭，已经变得很麻木。
很多时候，听着听着熟悉的歌曲也能哭。好讨厌这样的自己。

男朋友每次说我有overthinking的坏习惯。确实。
或许是不安全感吧？从来不被认可所以会不安全感。
想要寄个明信片给他也不行。很无助。
只好把自己想跟他说的话都写在纸上然后收在抽屉里。很sad。
他从来不会po我们的合照。
我好羡慕那个曾经出现在他instagram上面的那个女生，打从心底里羡慕。

啊，那个谁结婚了！
好想邀出席他的婚礼哦，以前说好了一定会请彼此去彼此的婚礼，很可惜，我人在英国。:(
前几天有跟他小聊了一下，好怀念我们以前打打闹闹的日子。
这么快就当爸了，好高兴哦！
是很衷心地为他感到开心，还答应了一定会给他红包里放英镑。哈哈哈！

看了来自星星的你结局篇，哭惨了。
哭的原因不是因为剧情很伤感，而是因为我很了解千颂伊的感觉。
当都敏俊离开的那一刻，我想起男朋友回家的前一天，那种会哭得歇斯底里的感觉，不是说要控制就控制的了。
最重要的是，能相处的时间真的很短，所以会额外的珍惜。这是真的。

Double Valentine's 2014.

First of all, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone.
Stay sweet with your love one for those who are attached, and for those who are single, be patient to wait for your right one, trust me everything is just the matter of time. :)

It's been a while since the previous post. I lost my inspiration to blog I don't know why.
Bare with me kay. Lots of loves.

Frankly, I'm tearing now. Yeah, in a bad mood.
Even though it's valentine's day, but I spent my day on arguing with my boyfriend.
Erm, I shouldn't say it was an arguement, it's just, we both got different thoughts on each other maybe?
Yes, we didn't skype on valentine's, we didn't get to see each other, I wished him happy valentine's day but he didn't, we didn't sweet talk, we didn't say blessing words, we didn't do anything, what we did was, whatsapp about our different opinions.

I don't know how I should take this but, it shouldn't happened on a Valentine's Day, at least.

I don't demand much usually, cuz I know he is not the romantic type of person since the first day I met him.
But at least, don't make me feel lonely, especially we're dealing with LDR, and it's our first Valentine's together.
The suckest part is, I got no friends here who can talk to me on a Valentine's Day.
I do it all to my blanket and pillow, wtf?
Am I too greedy to have sweet words, appreciation, or just some efforts to show me his love?
I don't wish to have roses, branded presents or whatsoever stuffs, I just want to feel some warmth from the one I care. Is it too much? I don't know. :'(

Been crying too much today, I hate myself for being so emotional.
What for I crying this much? No one seems to give a damn, none.
I started to feel helpless on us, I doubt on myself if I can handle LDR well. I'm not sure anymore.

I thought you'll feel the same as me that today is meaningful cuz it's our first Valentine's together.
I thought you'll find it touching to share your thoughts with me on how hard we got together.
I thought you'll tell me how you appreciate to be with me even though the moment we can be together is short.
Everything, is just my own thoughts.
原来一切都只是我想太多。

I wrote him a letter, only get to pass to him on July, if everything is still alright.