Defeat.

Lose to viruses. 38.6°C.  Officially a sick cat now.
No idea where all my sweats come from, infinity one wtf.
I'm so lazy to bath and change my cloth lo!!! Stop sweating lah!!! ;(

Realized that I always fall sick every beginning of the year, maybe I just think too much but it happens 2 years continuously. :O
I remember last year I was suffering shit and it took me 1 week plus to recover.
OMG NOT FOR THIS YEAR PLEASE.
I don't want to miss any classes cuz it is so hard to catch up what I miss in lectures. NOOOO.

**finger-crossed** I'll be fine tomorrow. :)
Gonna sleep now. Night! 

Annoying.

Halloooo! It's 1.01am now.
I'm blogging at this time cuz I couldn't fall asleep due to I took my nap for about 4 hours just now after class.

Had major headache and I can't even walk in a straight line in college.
When I was walking down from the stairs, my legs shook.
So freaking not well. My mind was totally blank and I just wanted to get home as soon as possible. :(

You know, I find it is annoying when friends don't understand you and they only think from their side.
Why can't you think for others? Maybe we just have different perspective so yeah?

I'm not regretting for not joining your Penang trip tomorrow. NOT.
I did think for several times kay, I even called my mom and asked her about this matter.
If I don't have the heart to join you all at first, I won't even give a piece of shit.
What I've got at last is, I'm giving excuses. Ahahaha.
Yes, I want to be sick.
Yes, I want to rush here rush there.
Yes, I want to be an outsider to join you all only when there's extra seat for me.
Yes, I want to be annoying.
Satisfied?

I'm not those kind of people who like to explain everything I did.
If you trust me, thank you. If you don't, just go ahead as you like.
Anyway, I only be myself.

You expressed your unsatisfaction to me, but did I ever do that to you when I'm not satisfy? Did I?
Can never please the society, even friends. Yeah, so-called friends.

***

J sent me panadol just now, but with 3 pills of panadol opened. #wtf
He can nag like a grandfather to ask me to sleep after have the medicine and shut down my lappy. -.-
Heheee, I find him cute when he stays up before I go in and close the door just to make sure I back home safely. :') !

Finally there's something made my day brighter. Goodnight! :D

Demand?

Gummy - I'm sorry.

I'm still listening to this song after a year. It does affect my mood cuz it's the song of me and J. Lolll.

J used to play this song for like 24 hours whenever he came to find me 1 year back.

Oh the one he played was Japanese version, I like both versions anyway. :')

So fucking angry with him now, but I guess this is the reason why we don't want to be together.

If we're in relationship, we'll start demanding to each other.

You know, I'm those type of girls who get jealous easily, feel insecure without reason, do stupid things just to get his attention.

He knows he can't takes my demand, and I know I can't demand on him.

What we have is only feelings, we lose to time almost everytime.

Guess what, I tried before that I went to find him outside his house and I waited there like a sohai, but he was sleeping inside like a boss until I went home.

Yesh, he didn't open door for me at last.

Here is a short post which I wanted to post up last night, but end up I saved it as a draft. I don't know, just...yeah.

Hiii, it's a blog post about J again.

I'm always wondering why he can affects me, no matter my mood, my emotions, my...everything. #wtf

I tell myself most of the time, DO NOT FALL TO THIS GUY. He's not the one.

But I know I failed, I do care about him. Somehow the feelings is like, more than friends but we're not together.

We had a heart talk session again last night, as usual. We talk honestly.

I gave him chances to express what he wants and he did the same too.

He said, I'm different, I'm special for him, non of his girls previously can give him this type of feeling.

We talked about his ex-es, he repeated some parts which he already told me before.

J: Ehh, xxxxx married liao.

Me: Yeah, I know ah. You told me.

J: Huhh? Really? See, means that I told you everything no matter it is important or not.

He asked, if we would be together at last.

I said no with doubt. Something like 'impossible guaaaa. :(

He said he thinks so too, cuz he doesn't want to break up with me.

No beginning, no ending, he said.

True, no beginning no ending.

Sometimes, I don't understand him at all. Like just, he's so strange...so strange.

I did ask him, who are you? I don't know you.

Cuz he can be so cool until I don't know who he is, who I'm talking to.

You know the feelings are so scary, the one who you give you the best feeling in the world but at the same time he is so strange to you.

Insecure? Maybe.

I feel heartache when he apologized but I forced myself not to forgive him. It's real suffercating I swear.

Well, he always has the way to make me smile again, at the end, and I just forgive him. Wtf.

NO, FOR THIS TIME.

NOT GONNA CONTACT WITH HIM UNTIL HE FINDS ME BACK.

LAU PLING CHEE SAYS IT.

***

My first serving class in Term 5 finally had over!

So fucking tension, really. 

I'm gonna do flambé, SERIOUSLY?! Flambé with fire weih!!! Lololll.

I invited Mathew, Sia, Kanaga and one of his friend to be my guests for this time.

I don't know, just randomly thought of them to help me.

Thank you so much for coming!!! Sincerely!!! :D

See this reservation list. Ah Xuan wrote Lau Pling Chee, wtf?

Fyi, Lau Pling Chee ain't my real name. Ahahahaha.

This is my very first peach flambé in my whole entire 19 years of life. Lol.

The top one was close to perfect, said lecturer.

YAYYYYYYYYY! :D

But too bad I ate this by myself. Ahahaha.

The one I served to my guests didn't have the nice colour as the picture above. :'(

Sorry I was too nervous. I don't want to burn the restaurant. T________T

Yay! It's done. More flambé will be done on the coming classes.

Will try to improve my skill, WILL TRY!

Realized that serving class ain't as tiring as previously.

Ching said it's the effect after training, if not 3-month-internship will be nothing to us.

At least, it helps us something. :')

Here is a video that I found on Youtube on how to make a flambé, just in case you've no idea what is that. :P

#goodnight