夜晚。

夜晚显得特别宁静，宁静的时候会想很多。
来英国快半年了，说还不习惯，也不是；说习惯了，也不算是。很矛盾吧？

这学期过得很压力。脱发的问题更显得严重，严重到我真的害怕起来。
很多事情都得突破自己的范围去完成，很多事情得自己亲历亲为去做，
一个人得分身做很多个岗位，我真的很累。
现在真的会在收到email的那分钟害怕起来，害怕的是会因为我错误的决定给把事情砸了。
我不知道可以向谁倾诉。
外人不会了解，都只会愚昧地说，这就是学生的责任啊，放多一点心机啦，花多一点时间之类的话。
你们不懂。

已经连续四天是被电话声给吵醒，因为大家都在为事情在做准备。
根本没办法睡个好觉。
好累，好累。

好久都没跟妈妈视讯了，我好想家。

哭，已经变得很麻木。
很多时候，听着听着熟悉的歌曲也能哭。好讨厌这样的自己。

男朋友每次说我有overthinking的坏习惯。确实。
或许是不安全感吧？从来不被认可所以会不安全感。
想要寄个明信片给他也不行。很无助。
只好把自己想跟他说的话都写在纸上然后收在抽屉里。很sad。
他从来不会po我们的合照。
我好羡慕那个曾经出现在他instagram上面的那个女生，打从心底里羡慕。

啊，那个谁结婚了！
好想邀出席他的婚礼哦，以前说好了一定会请彼此去彼此的婚礼，很可惜，我人在英国。:(
前几天有跟他小聊了一下，好怀念我们以前打打闹闹的日子。
这么快就当爸了，好高兴哦！
是很衷心地为他感到开心，还答应了一定会给他红包里放英镑。哈哈哈！

看了来自星星的你结局篇，哭惨了。
哭的原因不是因为剧情很伤感，而是因为我很了解千颂伊的感觉。
当都敏俊离开的那一刻，我想起男朋友回家的前一天，那种会哭得歇斯底里的感觉，不是说要控制就控制的了。
最重要的是，能相处的时间真的很短，所以会额外的珍惜。这是真的。

Double Valentine's 2014.

First of all, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone.
Stay sweet with your love one for those who are attached, and for those who are single, be patient to wait for your right one, trust me everything is just the matter of time. :)

It's been a while since the previous post. I lost my inspiration to blog I don't know why.
Bare with me kay. Lots of loves.

Frankly, I'm tearing now. Yeah, in a bad mood.
Even though it's valentine's day, but I spent my day on arguing with my boyfriend.
Erm, I shouldn't say it was an arguement, it's just, we both got different thoughts on each other maybe?
Yes, we didn't skype on valentine's, we didn't get to see each other, I wished him happy valentine's day but he didn't, we didn't sweet talk, we didn't say blessing words, we didn't do anything, what we did was, whatsapp about our different opinions.

I don't know how I should take this but, it shouldn't happened on a Valentine's Day, at least.

I don't demand much usually, cuz I know he is not the romantic type of person since the first day I met him.
But at least, don't make me feel lonely, especially we're dealing with LDR, and it's our first Valentine's together.
The suckest part is, I got no friends here who can talk to me on a Valentine's Day.
I do it all to my blanket and pillow, wtf?
Am I too greedy to have sweet words, appreciation, or just some efforts to show me his love?
I don't wish to have roses, branded presents or whatsoever stuffs, I just want to feel some warmth from the one I care. Is it too much? I don't know. :'(

Been crying too much today, I hate myself for being so emotional.
What for I crying this much? No one seems to give a damn, none.
I started to feel helpless on us, I doubt on myself if I can handle LDR well. I'm not sure anymore.

I thought you'll feel the same as me that today is meaningful cuz it's our first Valentine's together.
I thought you'll find it touching to share your thoughts with me on how hard we got together.
I thought you'll tell me how you appreciate to be with me even though the moment we can be together is short.
Everything, is just my own thoughts.
原来一切都只是我想太多。

I wrote him a letter, only get to pass to him on July, if everything is still alright.

感情这回事。

今天跟一位朋友恰恰好谈起心事来。
他告诉我说他，移情别恋了。
但其实事情也不该这样说，就是两个人在一起了没了火花，
又刚好说有另一个人出现让自己觉得更加坚定这段感情不该再继续下去。
他询问我的意见说怎样才能够像冲上云霄Heather和Tony这样和平的分开，大家都可以理智地接受和尊重彼此的决定。
其实我没有很懂感情这回事，自问我还在从自己的经历中很努力的学习。

他这样的经历，令我会想起自己以前不懂事的时候的一个经历。
两个人在一起觉得厌了，腻了，就要放弃，然后还半夜大吵一架直接告诉他我喜欢上别人然后很干脆地说分手。
我还记得当我说了分开这样的话，前男友紧紧抱着我的时候那种内疚感。
其实错的并不是他，但是承受痛苦的却是他自己一个人。多不公平。
我很不想我的朋友变成这样，但是又能怎样呢？:(

我觉得当双方投入了感情这回事的时候，对与错已经不存在了。
事情的发展就在于你自己怎样去看怎样平衡自己。
电视剧很老土不是每次都说勉强没幸福吗？但是却很对。
勉强的是自己，辛苦的是自己。当你做了自己的本分，对方不领情那就算啦。
何必一直纠缠谁对谁错？
当然，我觉得沟通是一个很重要的关键。
男生们都很笨蛋，不说他们就真的不懂。真的是。-.-

我很为难。因为在这件事情上，两边都是我的朋友。
我不想去插手别人的事情，也不会去多管闲事。
但是站在朋友的立场上面，我觉得女方应该有权利知道这件事情。
只是我也不晓得该怎么去跟她说。:(

自己的感情事都没管好，哪还有时间去管人家 :(

话说，再过36天男朋友就会来伦敦找我啦！超级兴奋。嘿嘿嘿
我刚刚还自己一个人去旅行社定了4天3夜的巴黎旅行配套。
直接就买了火车票，酒店加早餐还有迪斯尼的入场票呢！哇 开心死。
从来就没有试过自己一个人处理这些事情，觉得好有成就感哦！:D

我觉得我改换科系，根本就该读event planning嘛！哈哈哈
现在狂在恶补我的法文，以免在法国迷路了回不来。T____T

题外话，最近我很努力在瘦脸。我在试用一个很多部落客和明星都大力推荐的瘦脸精华液。
我觉得对我来说好像有点点效，但是因为才刚使用的关系，所以效果还不怎么明显。
真的有效果了在告诉你是什么吧！

看吧，整张脸还是大巴巴的。-.-

如果我告诉你说我快秃头了，你信吗？

掉发越来越严重，困扰死我了。T___T

What can I do?

I always hate seeing people complain about stuffs, therefore I will never let myself being part of the complainers.

Life is wonderful, I mean we should always be thankful of what we have, but not complain about stuffs we don't have, isn't it?

In fact, people demand. This is the reason why people complain.

Negative emotions like to stick with me recently. 

Mood swings easily, over thinking are what I am doing all the time.

I don't know why, I just can't explain. It sucks.

Tear easily when listen to songs, when hug my pillow, even when chat with the boyfie.

Anything can affects me easily. Seriously hate this, so not me.

Trying hard to be a busy person by started doing assignments, cleaning my room, tidying my cupboard and stuffs that can fill up my time. But still, negative emotions won my mind.

I wonder, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Wanted to talk to people around me, but there's none.

Wanted to talk to my friends, but timezone doesn't allowed me to.

And lastly, the person I wanted to talk to the most, my boy, but I feel disappointed to talk to him.

The feeling is so helpless, what else I can do?

I miss ah leong, I miss talking to him. He is the one who knows me so well even I don't voice out he can tells out what my mind is thinking.

This fella is like living in my stomach, know everything of me so well. :(

He even remember my period date although I don't ask him to remember, instead of my boy.

Human compare. I hate myself so fucking much.

Most of the time I just wanted to share my thoughts, my ideas, my life in UK, everything of mine with him, but he just take it lightly or ignore me.

It makes me feeling scare to share stuffs with him, yes I have this feeling.

Been wondering before tell him something, and sometimes I just like, urghhh whatever.

This shouldn't happen in a relationship isn't it?

He is my motivation, he is my supporter, he is my listener, he is my partner, he is my boyfriend, he is my best friend, he is my everything.

But why I don't feel any supports from him anymore?

All these even affects my appetite. I can only eat a meal in 24 hours.

I find food is disgusting and I hate them all.

No ideas.

:(

心情很糟糕。
我不知道是我自己的问题还是什么，很不开心。

我一直很兴致勃勃，因为男朋友要来英国陪我过节，圣诞节和阳历新年。
很开心很开心，开心得连觉都睡不好一直在想该带男朋友去哪里玩，要什么冬衣给他什么的。
结果，就被他的一句话给否定掉我全部。他妈的。

顿时心里真的很不是滋味，但是我又不想闹脾气，毕竟他还是花了钱买机票这么远地要飞来。
话收在心里不说我又很难过，朋友看见我就问我说怎么了，我也不知道该怎么说。
打了很长一堆字想要告诉他我的不开心，最后还是不发出去还一键删掉全部。
很不自觉地就哭了。

不知道从何时开始，开始不再说早安或晚安。我很坚持地说每天都有在说，但是受到的回复是冷淡的就会像被泼了冷水的感觉。很讨厌。
一天两天或许还受得了，但是我现在已经不记得我们从何时开始把这个互相承诺的简单事情也要忽略掉。
远距离难道就一定要经历这些有的没的吗？

今天一下午都在找东西做让自己很忙很忙不想这些事。
但是当自己一休息的时候，还是会情不自禁的去看男朋友有没有找我的迹象。
结果令我很失望很失望，那就是没有。
一整天都不联络心里整个就七上八下，那种不安很讨人厌，真的很讨厌。
但是还是硬硬要强迫自己不要做那个踏出第一步的人。很痛苦。

不知道怎么了，安全感这种东西真的就好像不属于我。
从小到大都一直是自己很努力的在寻找这种感觉，但是就是没有。

还记得以前生活营里玩过的一个游戏，测试出我是一个极度没有安全感的小孩。
老师说我不轻易相信别人，就算是亲人，也与我有一道防火墙。
真的一定要这样吗？:(

男朋友，我真的希望你懂我为什么要一直这么坚持。
在你眼里可能都是小事不重要，但是对我来说承诺就是承诺，答应了就得做到。
难道不是这样的吗？:'(

08102013

Always have heart to heart talk sessions with Baby T whenever we are on our own.

We share our thoughts and problems to each other every time. In fact, we're just too kehpo lah. :P

I can completely relate my situation with the phrase 你看我好，我看你好。Lololol.

If you know what I mean.

She always says that my relationship with baby is what she always been wanted badly cuz whenever I story her about things happen between me and baby she will definitely like, 'yorrr, so goooood. xxx won't do that to me.'

Her boyfriend is currently studying in UK as well that she doesn't need to suffer LDR, inversely I have to. :'(

That's why I said 你看我好，我看你好。Hahaaa!

Reading back old texts in facebook inbox, old blogs, whatsapp earlier messages, and I realized that I been through so much up and down since form 2.

Feeling a lil bit shocked that I actually behaved that way when I was young. You'll never want to know what I have done wtf. -.-

Chatted with fen fen about D yesterday. 

Seriously miss her too much, we have the same thought towards the same person. 

Back in the year when I broke up with D, fen fen was the one who be in the middle to try so hard to settle for us. She even teared so hard and kept apologized to me that she failed in believe him.

Read D's blog post about I am a bitch and whatsoever shits.

The 'wtf' feeling is still strong even though years had passed. I stalked his gf's blog as well, the girl who keeps mention to public not to judge her if we don't know her stories.

I wonder, what stories you will have? What a bitch. -.-

Thank god I have a boyfie who treats me so well now even we are in LDR.

Baby T asked me, if boyfie comes to UK without letting me know for a surprise, what would I do?

I accidentally said, I will marry him after 2 years I don't care.

She burst laugh in the shopping mall until everyone looked at us. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Cuz boyfie ain't good in giving surprise and planning for something so yeah. -.-

WTF.

Scream & shout.

Current addiction.
I seriously in love with this song and I replay it like 207346827365517825156483269 times per day. Lol.
Somehow, I miss party. Boom boom shake shake ah. :(

So hmm, I'm blogging now cuz I can sleep till late 2mr morning yay! :D
I'm going to watch movie, shopping and eat good food 2mr.
Miss this type of life though.

Okay, I don't know what to write so...ciao! :P
Happy April! ♥

Complicated.

I don't know why, never understand.

For me, guys' words are bullshits.

Meaningless, pointless, and only idiots will trust in it.

Well, maybe it's just me, but yeah, that's what I really think.

Tried to cry, but I'm tearless.

Heart become feeling-less day by day, good or bad?

I lost myself, again.

Seriously, I wanna go for backpack travel alone.

People don't understand it, they just don't.

More freedom, exploring more, see more, think more, buy more, taste more, feel more.

Someday, I'll be in Paris.

It's one of my dream. :)

Get rid of.

Hi readers, it's me again. Lol. Wtf am I talking about? This is my blog kayyy. -.-

What to post for today hmm? Any ideas?

Let's talk about J then. Lololololll. :P

I'm currently in a super complicated mood and I don't even know how to explain how I feel when people ask me what's wrong. D; #failed

It's like, more than complicated, but in fact, Melissa told me that I'm just thinking too much. :(

Talked with J again last night, for the whole night.

He lah, made me lack of sleep and went to Uni like zombie wtf. D;

Been controlled so hard not to apps him first cuz I don't wanna be the initiative one. NO WAY.

Guess what, he apps-ed me first. *YAYYY wtf.*

I told him I don't feel like going to Uni the next day cuz not feeling well and I gotta feeling that fever is coming back to me wtf.

He replied, he wanna came to me to look after me and make sure I sleep after had medicine.

I was like 'are you serious?' :OOO

Like usual, he didn't care much about what I response and he just came. 

I asked him to teach me a way to get rid of him.

He replied, why the fuck you want to get rid of me?!

Me: I'm just too tired on our relationship like this. I don't want to continue anymore.

J: Why? You don't like us to be like this?

Me: No, I don't like it. Means what? We're nothing. Not friends, not couple. Like what?

J: *silent and he just hugged me so tight.*

Me: This is enough. I wanna get rid of you, I'm serious.

J: We be together, okay?

Me: No, I don't want.

J: Why you don't want to be my girlfriend?

Me: Because I know we'll break up one day. I just know it.

J: *silent again and he said he loves me.* 

It's the first time he said that to me, for times. 

He even whispered at my ear side told me that he loves me. 

I teared secretly, I hate like this. :'(

Me: If one day I disappear, what would you do?

J: I will find you, no matter how.

Me: Liar. Where do you want to find me? -.-

J: Kajang lah. I will go to Kajang and find you.

Me: LOL you! Kajang so big, you know where I am meh?

J: I will go to 龙腾 everyday and shout "Lau Wai Chee please come out."

Me: Wtf. Stop calling me that name. And why Dragon Fly wtf?

J: Cuz you told me before it's near to your house. Sure find dao you in that area.

Me: Wtf you. -_________-

J: *he hugged me again and said do not leave him, he won't let me disappear.*

:'(

He asked, why I take him as invisible during class and whenever in Uni?

I don't know, I just know that he could affects my study emotional without realizing.

Yesh, just he has the power.

Seriously he touches my heart deeply.

He could makes me smile without reason from the deepest side of my heart.

And I know, he replaced the position of Mr.Han. 

Thanks for moving in and chased Mr.Han out of my heart. :')

Even though he already appeared since a year ago.

Timing, time doesn't allowed us to be together.

Let it be.

Finally met up with her today. Sorry for looking bad here, I know I'm ugly. D;

Catching up session is always a must-do for us everytime when she comes back from Kedah.

We can talk like nonstop, until saliva dries wtf.

Friendship is one of the deepest knowledge in life.

I've no idea how we become this close but I know that we'll maintain this as long as I'm still Lau Pling Chee.

Thank god for giving me to meet up this girl who knows me so well, even she can't helps me on my problems but at least, she's there for me when I need someone to talk to. :')

Never predict what will happens in future, it's tired, everything is too complicated to solve, I will just let it be as it is.

BFF gang, I'm too exhausted on putting hopes and etc. 

The feelings of been ignored is hurt, feelings changed, things changed, we all changed.

So yeah, let it be.

NO.

Read Mifen's blog just now. I realized that we always have the same problems, why huh?
We lose to guys, yeah, total lost type?

If you are my frequent reader, you'll know who I'm mentioning. Yesh, it's J.
I can say that I tried harder than anyone of you to ignore the guy that gives me a strong special feelings, but I lose, I failed to ignore that him. Wtf. ;(
As usual, I told myself, we contact cuz we are benefits to each other.
But please, not falling to him kay LPC. NO, NEVER.
Ignored, but once he texted me, I replied. Wtf?

No idea why, I have the force kind of feelings when I wanted to ignore him.
Erased all the words and told myself, you should not text him. SHOULD NOT.
Yeah, and then I feel down for not texting him. What the hell is going on huh?

I admit that I have feelings on him, but no way we're getting together, never.
But why do I feel so sad? WHYYYY
Complicated feelings, I hate this. D;

Falling asleep every night with a complicated mood.
Me no likey. D;

Annoying.

Halloooo! It's 1.01am now.
I'm blogging at this time cuz I couldn't fall asleep due to I took my nap for about 4 hours just now after class.

Had major headache and I can't even walk in a straight line in college.
When I was walking down from the stairs, my legs shook.
So freaking not well. My mind was totally blank and I just wanted to get home as soon as possible. :(

You know, I find it is annoying when friends don't understand you and they only think from their side.
Why can't you think for others? Maybe we just have different perspective so yeah?

I'm not regretting for not joining your Penang trip tomorrow. NOT.
I did think for several times kay, I even called my mom and asked her about this matter.
If I don't have the heart to join you all at first, I won't even give a piece of shit.
What I've got at last is, I'm giving excuses. Ahahaha.
Yes, I want to be sick.
Yes, I want to rush here rush there.
Yes, I want to be an outsider to join you all only when there's extra seat for me.
Yes, I want to be annoying.
Satisfied?

I'm not those kind of people who like to explain everything I did.
If you trust me, thank you. If you don't, just go ahead as you like.
Anyway, I only be myself.

You expressed your unsatisfaction to me, but did I ever do that to you when I'm not satisfy? Did I?
Can never please the society, even friends. Yeah, so-called friends.

***

J sent me panadol just now, but with 3 pills of panadol opened. #wtf
He can nag like a grandfather to ask me to sleep after have the medicine and shut down my lappy. -.-
Heheee, I find him cute when he stays up before I go in and close the door just to make sure I back home safely. :') !

Finally there's something made my day brighter. Goodnight! :D

Demand?

Gummy - I'm sorry.

I'm still listening to this song after a year. It does affect my mood cuz it's the song of me and J. Lolll.

J used to play this song for like 24 hours whenever he came to find me 1 year back.

Oh the one he played was Japanese version, I like both versions anyway. :')

So fucking angry with him now, but I guess this is the reason why we don't want to be together.

If we're in relationship, we'll start demanding to each other.

You know, I'm those type of girls who get jealous easily, feel insecure without reason, do stupid things just to get his attention.

He knows he can't takes my demand, and I know I can't demand on him.

What we have is only feelings, we lose to time almost everytime.

Guess what, I tried before that I went to find him outside his house and I waited there like a sohai, but he was sleeping inside like a boss until I went home.

Yesh, he didn't open door for me at last.

Here is a short post which I wanted to post up last night, but end up I saved it as a draft. I don't know, just...yeah.

Hiii, it's a blog post about J again.

I'm always wondering why he can affects me, no matter my mood, my emotions, my...everything. #wtf

I tell myself most of the time, DO NOT FALL TO THIS GUY. He's not the one.

But I know I failed, I do care about him. Somehow the feelings is like, more than friends but we're not together.

We had a heart talk session again last night, as usual. We talk honestly.

I gave him chances to express what he wants and he did the same too.

He said, I'm different, I'm special for him, non of his girls previously can give him this type of feeling.

We talked about his ex-es, he repeated some parts which he already told me before.

J: Ehh, xxxxx married liao.

Me: Yeah, I know ah. You told me.

J: Huhh? Really? See, means that I told you everything no matter it is important or not.

He asked, if we would be together at last.

I said no with doubt. Something like 'impossible guaaaa. :(

He said he thinks so too, cuz he doesn't want to break up with me.

No beginning, no ending, he said.

True, no beginning no ending.

Sometimes, I don't understand him at all. Like just, he's so strange...so strange.

I did ask him, who are you? I don't know you.

Cuz he can be so cool until I don't know who he is, who I'm talking to.

You know the feelings are so scary, the one who you give you the best feeling in the world but at the same time he is so strange to you.

Insecure? Maybe.

I feel heartache when he apologized but I forced myself not to forgive him. It's real suffercating I swear.

Well, he always has the way to make me smile again, at the end, and I just forgive him. Wtf.

NO, FOR THIS TIME.

NOT GONNA CONTACT WITH HIM UNTIL HE FINDS ME BACK.

LAU PLING CHEE SAYS IT.

***

My first serving class in Term 5 finally had over!

So fucking tension, really. 

I'm gonna do flambé, SERIOUSLY?! Flambé with fire weih!!! Lololll.

I invited Mathew, Sia, Kanaga and one of his friend to be my guests for this time.

I don't know, just randomly thought of them to help me.

Thank you so much for coming!!! Sincerely!!! :D

See this reservation list. Ah Xuan wrote Lau Pling Chee, wtf?

Fyi, Lau Pling Chee ain't my real name. Ahahahaha.

This is my very first peach flambé in my whole entire 19 years of life. Lol.

The top one was close to perfect, said lecturer.

YAYYYYYYYYY! :D

But too bad I ate this by myself. Ahahaha.

The one I served to my guests didn't have the nice colour as the picture above. :'(

Sorry I was too nervous. I don't want to burn the restaurant. T________T

Yay! It's done. More flambé will be done on the coming classes.

Will try to improve my skill, WILL TRY!

Realized that serving class ain't as tiring as previously.

Ching said it's the effect after training, if not 3-month-internship will be nothing to us.

At least, it helps us something. :')

Here is a video that I found on Youtube on how to make a flambé, just in case you've no idea what is that. :P

#goodnight

眼浅。

发现最近都很爱哭。是那种莫名其妙，无端端流泪的那种。

不知道为什么，竟然就可以在大众面前流泪。

在厨房实习的时候，被大厨念了几句就可以流泪流得直哽咽，说话都困难的那种。

大厨在我临走之前赠了我一句：要学习不要这么眼浅。

真的不知道从何时开始变成爱哭包。:'(

不知道你们2013年的第一部电影是哪部啊？

我的呢，就是这部大制作啦！Upside Down.

其实我觉得这部戏很值得买票去看。

原因不知是因为题材新鲜，还内藏玄机呢！

我还真的看不懂啦！哈哈。

故事是在说，上方是有比较高尚及富裕的，而下方就是比较贫贱和贫穷的。

由于地心引力的缘故，上方的人到不了下方，下方的人也不能上去上方。

如果违规，就会被警察抓啦。

故事内容呢，你们就自己去戏院探讨啦！

我评：3.5星！

今天早放学，我又去了看电影 - 大上海。

其实这部电影是售票员介绍我的啦，反正我有没事做所以就去看了。

我个人觉得很好看咯！

因为我哭了很多次。哈哈哈！

他们那种为了义气牺牲自己，为了自己爱的人牺牲自己的豪迈个性，他妈的现在哪里找得到？！！

当林坏把炸弹绑在自己身上然后为了救成大器而把自己炸成碎片的时候，哇捞！

我简直是O着嘴形在看的。:OOO

我评4颗星啦。

星期三快乐！:D

First 2013 Friday.

People love Friday, don't you?
Well, I don't really remember what's TGIF meant to me since I started my internship. T___T
Everyone has TGIF...everyone enjoys TGIF...while you have to sleep early and get to work on the next early 7am. How sucks that is.

Everyone was following the 201314 trend and my instagram, facebook and Twitter are all flooded with that particular date.
Anyway, it's just a date. It means nothing to me so yeah. :/

I'm officially shift in La Maison during my study period.
La Maison is the name which I gave to my Sunway house. Hahaha! It means my house in French. Sounds classy right? Lolollll.
Just done tidy up everything and settled down, what a night.
Actually I did many things today, let me story you how my first 2013 Friday goes like.
Get ready for my crappy post. :P

So, I slept like a boss till around...11am. And then I started to schedule my things-to-be-done-today.
Went to Marriott to settle my internship stuffs. Hand over name tag and basic card.
YAY! FINALLY SAY BYE TO 2ND INTERNSHIP! :D
You know, I have been waited for these days since 3 months ago. 3 months!!! Time flies. :(

After that, I went to Alamanda to get Elaine a birthday present.
Keep thinking what to buy cuz it's her 21st birthday. Must have something better.
I chose a bracelet from Guess. I don't know why, I just feel like girls must have a bracelet, at least a better one.
Cost me around 100 bucks after discount. So broke wtf. D:

Went back home then, to start packing my stuffs.
Actually I already moved some of my stuffs twice few days ago, this is part 3. Lolololll.
I'm just too lazy to get my things done, no why wtf.

Done packing around 5pm and I started to sleep. Forever sleeping. -______-
Woke up around 7pm to get ready to Elaine's party at 21st Century.
I planned to drop by the present and wish her Happy Birthday only cuz I'm going alone. :(
Melissa ffk me and others live too far from Kajang, so yeah.

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY ELAINE! ♥

Got a call from my housemate Yvonne, she told me that I didn't switch off the air-cond since yesterday.
I was like WTF?! SERIOUSLY?!!!! But I remember I double checked before I ciao, no idea what's wrong.
So I rushed back to La Maison and switched it off.
Guess why it happened? I accidentally set the timer to automatically switch ON the air cond. Fml.
Stupid remote control. -__________-

Actually J was planning to bring me along to club today. That's one of the reason why I came back on Friday eventhough my classes start on Monday.
Plan ruined due to some reasons, but it's okay lah, as long as he is with me. :')

Forgot to tell J that I already in Sunway cuz I was too rush.
I asked him if he wanted me to find him in Taylor's, and he was like Huhhh?! You in Sunway liao ah?!!
So yeah, met him up in Taylor's and we went to our lao di fang for a chinese style yamcha. Hahaha!
As previous, we ordered fried dumpling (锅贴) and typical leong shui. Will never do this in Kajang. Lollll.

Love the way we chat, so relaxing. He always does some actions that will surprised me. :'D
Hmmm, he remembers my phone lockscreen password eventhough he didn't touch my phone for a long time.

J: Ehh, what's ur password liao ah?
Me: Never change.
J: *laugh* What oh? I forget liao. *Press the password, unlocked.*
Me: Ma de. What you remember?! You tell me la. *Grabbed back my phone and it's unlocked wtf.*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WTFFF. Heart melts. :P

Oh yeah, I'm facing a big big problem with my parking space. It's so inconvinient and I started to feel frustrated on this matter.
I don't know how to describe in words, let me draw and show you what's happening. Lolll.

As you can see, the designer of this parking lot is a real brainless.

Common sense, if someone is parking in space 2, 4 and 6, then how should cars in space 1, 3, and 5 come out? That is what I'm facing right now. 

I was told that my parking number is no.4, okay so I just park in 4. That time I was so happy cuz finally I get a parking space w/o paying. 

Who knows, someone texted me and told me that I blocked his way while I was shopping in The Curve few days ago. I was like, WHAT?!

Tried to work out with him so that we can coordinate in and out w/o blocking each others' ways, but I find it is so inconvenient.

We have to text each other to inform what time we're leaving the parking space and he even asked me not to pull up the brake so that he could push my car if I'm blocking him. What?! Are you freaking serious?! -.-

Told J this matter and guess what, he found a solution for me! YAY. :D 

But still, not sure yet if he can helps me lah, at least, there's a way. :DDD

He said he will gives me his parking lot since he's the leader of his unit and he is not driving.

Too bad that there's an unknown Toyota Vios JJM  90XX parked at that space, if not I can just park my car there just now. :/

He has to find out whose car is that from his housemates first before he gives it to me.

Of course, with 1 condition, he wants me to please him. Lolll. And I did wtf.

Me: Ehhh, I'm serious woh. Let me park at your space. I don't want my current one, so mafan.

J: Ya woh. Give you lah. Please me first. (You know in chinese is like, 好啊，求我啦！wtf)

Me: PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

J: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *Infinity Hahaha*

Me: -________________________-

Ahh! Did I mention that I finally found a guy who throws rubbish for me after I say please? LOLLL. It's J! 

Omg, too much things to talk about him wtf. 

When we were going out from my unit, he was approaching to the lift...

J: Ehh! Why you don't just take your rubbish out and throw since we are passing by?

Me: Oh ya hor! I forget liao. Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. *look at him with blink blink eyes LOL*

J: Walao, don't want. You take by urself. Don't so lazy, go.

Me: PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

J: Tsk! Got lock or not ur room? *Walked back into my room*

Me: No, I no lock.

J: WHY YOU DON'T LOCK!?!

Me: Later also coming back de la, no need lah.

J: *Turned back his head and ignored me.*

Yiiii, so touching loh! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Okay, last random convo of us for today.

J: If I still can't find a girlfriend ar, I would be a GAY.

Me: Good ah. You know, gays know girls so freaking well. You qualified, good good.

J: Really leh. I want to be a gay. 

Me: Go ahead. Find a handsome abit de ah.

J: You leh? If you can't find a boyfriend then how?

Me: Me ah, if I can't find a boyfriend, then I want to be a nun. Lollll.

J: Huhhh?! Why? You don't want to be lesbian meh?

Me: Tried before luu. Last time I was a lesbian ma.

J: How old?

Me: Uhmmm, form 3 gua.

J: How de how de?

Me: Best dao. Better than together with a guy, really.

J: You are the girl or the guy?

Me: I'm the girl one, my boy-girlfriend so handsome you know. Really hen shuang de.

J: :OOOOOOO

Me: You believe what I said de ma?

J: Yes.

Me: Why?

J: Because what you said I also believe.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

Actually I'm not a lesbian, last time not now also not, I'm super normal okayyyyyyyyyy!!! -.-

Stupid J.

Done with craps. Good night! :P

-.-

这几天在家颓废，虽然轻松自在，但是却好像少了目标。
有一点点想念实习的时候，就一点点。

我很喜欢读部落格，上网大概3分4的时间都在部落格上。
但是，最近很多部落格都逐渐地商业化。他们渐渐减少了分享生活点滴，反而很努力地在帮不同的品牌打广告。:(
不喜欢就连读部落格也变得像在看电视的广告。

朋友们纷纷开始讨论新年倒数的节目。
有人提议说这次要交换礼物。很囧。-.-
圣诞节不交换，新年却要交换。是怎样？！！！
不懂，但是我不想再给意见了。

看了很多Comic Fiesta的照片，我很喜欢无脸人！！！

真的很想万圣节的时候打扮成他。

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！

懒。

嗨。现在的时间是凌晨1点45分。

心情很沉重，对，我心情不好。

很努力让自己开心起来，但是夜晚一来到，寂静还是免不了。

我偷偷拿了三天假，超懒的。

明天又得上班去了，想到就觉得无聊。

这样的日子我竟然过了接近两个月。一直告诉自己，很快的，时间过很快。

发现，一直都是自己在帮自己忙。

自己告诉自己要坚强，因为没人会这样告诉我。

自己告诉自己要努力，因为没人会帮我解决问题。

自己告诉自己要撑，因为没人在我倒了会扶我起来。

有时真的很累，但是又如何？只能撑。

这三天来大部分的时间都自己在过。

我不喜欢别人烦我，但是有时又会觉得寂寞。很矛盾。

但我宁愿寂寞，也不愿让我莫名的人来烦着我。

寂寞，至少安静。

自己去了Bangsar一趟。找到一间环境好好的咖啡厅，坐了大半天。

雨下得好大好大，服务生还会为我撑伞。

多久，没有人为我撑伞了？

选了个靠窗边的座位，看着窗外的雨一滴一滴的嗒在地上。

就这样，我坐了很久，很久。

简单的一碟意大利面和杯热巧克力，但是真的好好吃。

很喜欢这样环境悠闲的咖啡厅，很喜欢这样安静的坐上老半天。

Cafe Barbera

我一定会再去。

那天，自己一个人去了好多地方。

虽然很累，但我觉得很充实。

当然，我还是希望能找到一个愿意陪我坐在窗边看雨滴的人。

#nowplaying

Kills.

Guess you can predict what I am going to blog about from my Twitter/title right?

I should learn how to control my emotion better, but I always failed. :(

Finally a big-cry yesterday, eyes swollen when I woke up this morning. Fml.

I just sat on my bed and cried for 1 hour plus?

Until my stomach is playing drum then only I went to downstairs and search for food w/ Running Man. Haha.

Failed on diet plan? Nonoooo, you are wrong. I didn't get to eat any foods at the end cuz I can't find any foods from kitchen. -.- #happyorsad

(Y)

The feelings just like when all the things clash on you in a sudden then no ones is there to lend you a hand. :'(

People always say, disappointments come from expectations.

But still, people still put on expectations. Why? Cuz they believe, they believe the things they put hope on will happen.

In fact, we're all cheating on ourselves, cuz life's like this.

The more you want. the harder you could get.

Positive minders will think that, oh! it's a kind of challenge in life or something, you'll be fine after you get through it. So yeah, stay strong.

But! Do you know that how fragile human beings are?

I'm just a human, I'm just a girl.

T_________________________T

The gang I used to have ain't the same anymore. 

I don't know if I'm the one who changed or time changes everything.

I don't mean to blame, anyone or anything, just that I couldn't believe that it happened. 

Told myself to chill/calm/xi guan jiu hao, but tears in my eyes just roll down like a waterfall.

I was too cared? Yes, I did cuz they are my buddies for life.

When those who disappointed you are who you cared, it kills.

Not hurts but kills. Non of the words can describe the heartache feeling. NON.

Over thinking is what kills me most, because I care everyone of you?

Yes, I have everything I want, but I don't happy.

One of the funny tweet from Twitter:

Who said that money can't buy happiness? It's happier to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

LOL?

True but I don't find it's happier to talk to a Coach porch purse than talk to a true friend.

Thank you Eetong still, for knowing me so well and I know she tried to cheer me up. :')

I miss talk to my mom. :'(

Internship caused me can't meet up w/ my family like always.

T_______________________T

Helpless.

***

I chose study abroad, only IF everything allows lah. 

If everything goes smooth, I will be leaving to Melbourne for degree.

New environment will do, I'm so tired liao. :'(

Yes or no?

Hi. A random post for today due to I've got nothing to do now. -.-

Boredom kills. Fml.

Realized that I'm having my hard time now on any decisions. Yes, ANY.

I can't even decide on eat or don't eat, am I sick? Dafuq.

YES or NO is driving me crazy and I'm always can't choose which of them to be my answer.

Not only boredom kills me now, dilemma kills too. Shit.

There's a few things which I'm always been thinking of but until now I couldn't make any decisions.

One of it is...

Abroad or local?

I believe that if you followed my Twitter, you'll be seeing that I tweeted about my further studies for N times.

And I even discuss about this with few of my friends, and parents as well.

Every single of them had given me different answers, this made me more confuse on my future. :'(

Mom asked me to consider Aussie than UK due to the distance is nearer and Aussie is famous in education.

Plus, I've relatives are living there so they might can help me on.

The problem that I'm worried about is, life there will be so much tougher than in Malaysia where the environment is like totally different.

No mamak, no yamcha, no roti bakar, no pan mee, no milo, no soya, no Sushi Zanmai, no Pavilion, no GSC, no Lavender, no friends, and no family.

T____________T

Can I really stand for all these? Doubt!

AhMay said Melbourne is good, can always party like a party animal. LOL.

But I don't think I wanna be a party animal there cuz it's really pricey for my parents to pay for my expenses in overseas.

As she said, Melbourne is a place which suit me more according to my behaviour, she thinks that I'm study + party type. So Melbourne is the best for me.

Seriously? :OOO

Selina suggested me to search about Melbourne too. She even gave me the name of the University.

Thank you babe! :)

She did her high school edu there so she is quite familiar with Aussie and she told me that she regret coming back for college! OMG.

Aussie really that good huh?

I found that it's hard for me to do research about study abroad cuz I have less friends who has experiences in this. :(((

Need more suggestions pleaseeeee.

In economy perception, mom asked me to go to UTAR for cheaper school fees reason.

But if I insist to go to overseas, she'll pay for me still.

Awwww! What I did to deserve such loving and world best mom as her? ❤

But I had searched about UTAR, the course there isn't my favourite one. So yeah, NO for UTAR.

Furthermore, I don't think I wanna continue in Taylor's. 

As coursemate - Toi said, study for so long just wait to overseas only ma, why want to stay in Taylor's like forever?

True also.

For me, Taylor's University is like in the middle.

Either choose higher to go to overseas, or lower to choose local private U.

I don't want to waste my parents' money for paying so much for me so I must think real deep for this.

:(

I can't decideeeeeee! HOWWWW

T______________________________T

剖白篇之我的自述。

哈咯，人类！

11月3了，你们过得还好吗？

11月，一切都还不错吧？:)

今天要来篇我的自述，为的是消耗消耗我的时间啦。

现在睡觉，好像有点太早了。哈哈！

从下午开始就一直在脑海里想，这篇该写些什么，

所以你们一定要耐心的把它读完哦！谢谢你嘛。:P

我呢？其实我的全名叫作 - 刘慧芝；没错！就是智慧的慧，芝麻的芝。

在我很小很小的时候，妈妈说无论她怎样教我写我的“慧”字，我都学不会。

所以啊, 我小学的时候用的是“卉”，花卉的卉。简单很多有没有？:D

但是现在我长大了嘛，所以当然是用回本名咯。Teehee!

好朋友都叫我Ah Ji。阿芝谐音啦！哈哈。

当兵的马来同胞们叫我Domo，因为我第一天去报到的时候他们就看到我用着很多Domo的东西，钱包啦，装电话的啦等等。哈哈。

当兵的朋友们就叫我冰淇淋，因为Pling Chee很接近冰淇淋嘛。

有的就叫是Ice Cream啦，慧芝啦，Pling Chee啦，Lai Chee啦等等等等。

话说，你知道我Pling Chee的名字怎样来的吗？

其实我以前有说过耶！哈哈。但是我不介意再说多几次，很白痴。:P

以前还是Friendster时期的时候啊，刚刚要sign up的时候，就一直很懊恼该放什么名字。

正巧，姐姐正在观看台湾电视节目《女人我最大》。

蓝心湄就拿着那些亮亮的首饰在那边说“Pling Pling Pling 很亮有没有”

然后Pling Chee就这么的诞生了。哈哈

P/S: Chee是我真名的最后一个字。

好啦，我知道我真的很白痴。-.-

我今年十九岁，1993年出生的，那年的8月25是我呼着这个世界第一口氧气的日子。

妈妈，您辛苦了。

很庆幸，我生长在一个完整的家庭。

我有爸爸妈妈，一个姐姐，一个妹妹，还有一个弟弟。

虽然爸爸妈妈都没有什么书本上的知识，但是他们胜在对人生的道理很懂，

真的很感恩他们教会我很多事情。

尤其是妈妈，她在我小的时候已经在灌输我对人生该存有的信念。

例如像是，做人要独立，不能单靠别人，很多事情要靠自己。

还有很多生活上的知识，比如说：在KFC点鸡腿要说drumstick，人生的11岁，21岁，31岁，41岁（以此类推）是很重要的一年，等等。

还记得我在读小学的时候，每当放学都没得直接回家，因为妈妈担心我跟姐姐自己在家会危险，所以我们几乎都是跟爸爸妈妈在店铺里面度过童年。

店铺楼上有两间小房间，一间是放杂物的，另一间是给我跟姐姐做功课和睡觉的。

墙壁上都黏着世界地图，我很记得我跟姐姐每天在背地图的时候。哈哈！

这帮助了我小学的地方研究和Geography都考得还不错呢！:DDD

生长在小康之家的我，虽然不愁吃和穿，但是我很记得爸爸妈妈怎样用汗水和泪水把这一切一切给换回来的。

:')

以前叛逆期的时候，我很没脑。

时常埋怨爸爸的严肃和妈妈的管教过严，但其实他们都是为了我好。*Sob sob*

我知错了，真的知道错！:((( !

19岁，已经不再pok pok脆了。:(

爱情路上经历很多，因为我早熟。AHAHAHAHA! WTF. -.-

初恋在Form 1年尾。我的天！那才13岁耶！

算，其实我只记得他的名字，至于我们经历过什么，我几乎都忘了。

那时都嘛不认真！-.-

你不要告诉我说你记得你13岁的时候做过什么咯。哈哈！

好啦，no offense，我是个健忘的人。-.-

不认真的时候，真的很不认真。

做过的错事太多，现在回想起来，真的很恶心。恶心到我想巴自己一巴掌。

算啦，童年嘛。-.-

妈的，什么恶心的童年。

过去遇过的男生有很多种，呃我的意思是性格都很不同。

他们都教会我很多。至少对爱情的观念也不再那么的执着，毕竟每段经历都很不同。

对不一样的人不能作比较咯。

虽然我有时还是会想念D，但是都知道这些事过去式。

W也是，分分合合很多次，最后他选择逃避，我选择退出。

对H很奇怪。我不懂这是不甘愿还是什么，就是什么都不清不楚咯。

已经很累了。

现在只想好好读书，规划将来的路该怎么走。

酒店管理，真的是我要的吗？

看太多《酒店风云》，结果选择了这条路。

很累，很累，但是有时候会开心啦！

矛盾。

Degree要去哪里读？我决定不了。

妈妈叫我深思熟虑，因为一旦决定了就得坚持下去。

2年，说长不长，说短不短。

怎么办？

T__________________________________T

他们在我的人生里扮演着很重要的角色。

真的！朋友是不可缺少的。

俗语都有在说：出外靠朋友。

因为他们，所以我的中学过得很棒！:D

但我觉得我们还可以在更疯狂一点。哈哈哈！

无聊的自述一篇。哈哈。

好啦！你自由了，结束。