恋。

看电视剧看很多这种不符实的远距离恋爱，有些是美好结局像童话般的happy ending，但也有很多是那些经不起考验然后相互整天疑神疑鬼最终搞得一拍两散的这种结局。

很多啦。我总是认为，其实事在人为。但是如果天意弄人，那就只好认命，没什么好大呼小叫的。

嘴巴上说说是容易，但是实际做起来，他妈的心都快痛死了。

说实在，到现在还是不敢相信自己跟男朋友的状态正是处在这种typical电视剧远距离恋。

天天视讯，不然就whatsapp，已经变成我们唯一的沟通工具。

还真不喜欢这样的相处方式，死板板的，真无聊。

这几天呢？我每天都会发着美梦说，哇，男朋友十二月快来英国了，一见到他一定要好好的抱一抱他看他有没有再变瘦还是什么的一堆。

结果一觉醒来，还是面对着四面墙和手上抱着的只是我那红色的枕头。#心碎

其实这事情落不落实都还不知道，看似八字都还没一撇，只是自己满怀期待得像个大白痴而已。

每天脑子里都会像一堆有的没得像是那些一起在伦敦大桥前看夜景那种画面，这竟然变成我现在日常生活中一定会做的一件事情。超白痴有没有？-.-

他是没怎样紧张啦，好像都是只有我自己在这边想太多而已。

每天视讯我都会问他说几时过来，怎样他都是没有给我个明确的日期。

感觉像是我在给他压力，有时候我真害怕自己太烦人，但是我就真的很想他过来嘛。:(

很不喜欢这种感觉，很多时候都会觉得很累，很想脱口而说出不想来就别来了这种晦气的话，但是写了终究还是删掉。因为我打从心底真的很想他来，而我这个男朋友呢，激将法对他一点都不管用，他只会把我说的话当成屁一样一下就没了。

这样的生活还要过上两年，是怎样？

:'(

Wed-

It's Wednesday night, a very comfy night I supposed, but it's starting to get more windy than I thought it would be and I started to shake and shivering while having dinner just now. #damn

Don't really remember when it is I started to hate Wednesday cuz it was the exact day when I left m'sia to UK.

Missing how wonderful my Wednesday to be in Connaught pasar malam to have my favourite asam laksa and Uco cake with soya less ice.

Missing how lovely my Wednesday to be to have my favourite yau zha kuai that my mom used to buy home when every one of us is in house.

#homesickiskilling

Seriously, hate myself so much when I'm in the homesick condition. It's just too helpless. D;

The only way to cure it is to skype with my parents and boyfie.

My mom doesn't give any pressure on me on my studies and life here, she just keeps on reminding me to take a good care of myself and she supports me in different ways as long as she can.

I don't know what I have done to deserve such supportive parents that would give me every thing the best to me. :'(

Adversely, the time I gave to them to care about them and get along with them is just too limited, too limited.

T____________T

I am sorry about it, I promise I will give y'all the best as I can too, I swear. :'(

F. Crying nonstop at this moment. Keyboard is getting wet. Nuuuuuuuuuu. D';

Frankly, I really really really miss my boyfie so much that I didn't feel this way before. :'(

I will imagine that he is with me all the time when I was in the room playing lappy and stuffs like that cuz we used to behave this way last few months when we were staying in together.

Idk if I was really sick, but it just happens.

Everytime when I skype with him, I would definitely ask him when he will come to UK, it's not that I want to force him, but you know, I am just...being too emotional I guess. :'(

I do really hope that he would be here with me during the coming December, even though it's just a short while, but it means to me alot and alot.

Baby, do you hear me? I miss you soooooooo freaking much.

LDR is torturing, I am sad. :'((((

IMY

Hey IMY boy !

#ldrday11